Sunday, 26 January 2014

Why do we love the Bad Boy?

It can't just be me that goes weak at the knees for a bad boy?  We all know they are 'bad' for us, it's right there in the name.  But there is always 'something' about them.  Even in movies and tv shows.  I won't give the guy a second look, until he is revealed as the horrible, bad guy.  Then I think he is the sexiest guy I've ever seen! What is wrong with me?

I really do want to be with someone that treats me well.  I want him to be loving and caring.  Sweet and thoughtful.  Gentle and sensitive to my needs...
But that's not what attracts me to a guy.  I wish it was, but it's the last thing I seem to be attracted to.
What I'm really attracted to is the sexy, confident, mean bad boy types.  Thankfully I'm also attracted to funny guys... In fact, if a guy can't make me laugh, then I have zero interest!  But sweet, kind, caring, gentle, sensitive funny guys are not as appealing to me as; sexy, strong, confident, cool, mean funny guys.

It is so bad, that I could be dating a guy (and it's happened many many times) and he is sweet and funny etc, and I start to like him a little.  I don't even have to like him that much, just a little.  We date, and he becomes a different person. He becomes mean.  The meaner he becomes... The more I want him. And remember, I really only liked him a little to begin with, it wasn't much.  But now, I love him, I need him, my world will collide if I'm not with him!  

My mum told me once, "dating is like a dance, for every step you take forward, he has to take a step back.  But likewise, if you take a step back, he will take a step forward... And if he doesn't, then he didn't really want the dance."
She was giving advise about me constantly being the one to take the steps forward, she was telling me to step back.  But her analogy could also work in our level of attractiveness to a guy.  The more he steps towards me (with his kindness and sweet thoughtfulness) I step back.  But if he keeps stepping back (by ignoring my texts and being mean) I keep making the moves in his direction, desperate to keep the dance going.

We've all heard the saying, "treat 'um mean, keep 'um keen."  It's very true, dating is a game.  It's a game of dances and a battle of control and power.  Not only to be the one in control, but to keep your partners interest.  The more we 'need' them the quicker they will lose interest.  We have to stay cool and collected and show that if we needed to, we could move on and be quite happy without them.  

Well maybe we aren't so different from men?  We seem to be more interested in someone if they are less interested in us.  I think this explains our attraction to the 'bad boy type'.  If a guy is too sweet and devoted, we lose a bit of interest.  We like the challenge, just like men do;  "Maybe I could be the one to tame him, make him fall in love, find his sweet romantic side..."  Sound familiar?  Usually we just end up hurt in the end, and asking ourselves why we always go for the wrong guy.

Another explanation could be, that it is in our DNA, we are animals after all.  And like other animals, females are attracted to the leader of the pack.  The strong protector.  Perhaps 'bad boys' give us this impression, they are strong, they will protect their mate by any means.  We are in a generation of independent women.  But I think we all still want to feel protected, although some of us would never admit it.  

These are all just my own thoughts and opinions.  I am not claiming that any of them are fact.  Maybe I am way off.  Maybe it is just me that loves bad boys.  If that's the case, I hope I grow out of it!  What do you think?  Are women merely controlled by their animal instincts and attracted to the leader of the pack?  Are we just like men, and need the challenge of the chase?  Or are you reading this thinking, "this poor girl is crazy, and she will never find happiness if she doesn't grow out of this?" 

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