Butterflies

Hello, my name is Caroline and I am a butterfly addict.

Anyone that’s ever been on a first date, or sat next to his or her crush will know that feeling.  Commonly described as butterflies, it is the most universal feeling there is.  Your stomach feels like it is flipping, there’s a tingle in your belly and you can hear your heart beating in your ears.  Butterflies.  The most awful and amazing feeling you will ever have.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’ve caught a sickness bug… or the love bug.  Yes, I did just use that cheesy line.  But that’s what the bug does to me… those butterflies bring out my inner cheesiness.  I’m not ashamed to admit that this nervous, nauseating feeling is my favorite in the world.

We’ve all been there:

Sitting in the movie theatre, his knee accidentally touches yours.  Butterflies.  You glance over (without turning your head) and look at him in his seat.  Butterflies.  He moves his hand so that it is almost touching yours.  More butterflies.  You look at his hand.  There it is, that nauseating feeling… nerves, and you can hear your heart pounding in your chest.  Can he hear it? You touch his pinky with your pinky.  Oh wow, the butterflies!

Everyone has been here.  It might not go exactly like this, but when you were reading that, you were thinking of your own experience.  Maybe he got up the courage to touch your hand, or your leg… maybe he put his arm around you.  You try to tilt your head and rest it on his shoulder to show that you like him too.  But it’s a terrible angle, because of those seats.  It hurts your neck, but you don’t move.  You don’t want him to think you changed our mind… so you stay there as long as you can, even with your neck hurting.  Do you mind?  Of course not, because of the butterflies.  You are enjoying the butterflies far too much.  You, my friend, just might be a butterfly addict.

It’s a feeling that only comes when you really like someone.  When there is an attraction, preferably a mutual one.  I have been known to have those feelings when it has not been mutual.  I’m sitting going crazy over an accidental bump of the arm, and he was just reaching for his popcorn, and has no idea we touched.  This feeling isn’t quite as enjoyable, but shamefully, I admit that I do still love it.  Butterflies are butterflies, and I am a butterfly addict. 

It’s a very innocent feeling, the butterflies.  One I hope I never lose the ability to have.  I enjoy being nervous and excited, because it is that innocence that allows me to enjoy the butterflies.  Those crazy, wild, senseless butterflies are the greatest.

I often wonder if I enjoy the butterflies too much.  What happens when I, finally, one day settle down in a serious relationship?  Will I miss those beginning butterflies too much?  Maybe there will be new feelings that I will love?  New favorites?  New firsts?  New addictions? 

I will find out soon enough.  In the meantime, I am just going to enjoy the butterflies!